Can't say what it is, and don't ask me cuz i don't wish to recall it. That thing is stucked in my head for now... i fucking regretted doing it, what the fuck was i thinking???? Damn it. I must be outta my mind!!!! ZZZZZZ what the hell was i thinking??? Grr. Never mind, what's done is done. I swear to God that i won't ever do it again. If i break my promise, i shall die terribly. If i ever break my promise, i shall be struck by lightning, go out kena bang by car, in nightmares kena killed by monsters/ghosts. I'm fucking serious that i won't let this happen again! It happened for the second time already.... i'm so guilt-ridden by now, fuck. To him, i'm so sorry, you're still the one i love the most... really.

Feeling so unwell now, it feels like history is repeating and i'm the one suffering, once again.