Here comes the time whereby i feel SO SAD once again.. just feel like giving up.. just feel like crying, but i'm trying to hold back my tears; even now when i'm typing this out, tears are almost dropping out..

if you read my entries regularly, you could more or less guess what has made me so upset.

i just feel like giving up already.. i'm so tired, MENTALLY.. i think i'm going crazy soon.. real soon. every single day, i'm smiling as if nothing has happened, laughing like i'm truly laughing; it's torturous.

but i'm holding on for people whom are important to me. not many.. i can count with fingers, it's a few only.. but really, i'm very tired! fuck this. i'm so tired! this tired is not you go sleep and wake up, will feel energetic once again. This kind of tired, is no matter how long you've slept, you still feel so tired! This kind of tired, kills you slowly yet cruelly deep within. No one else will feel it, only you.

I'm feeling that right now..

Luckily i have no boyfriend, else it would be harder for me to.. :'(
I don't know, i just know i'm insane, i'm crazy.


That day i did the most unpredictable thing, was the day i truly gave up. 20 July 2011

Just kill me, i scared i can't control myself and go die.