In secondary school classmates and friends around me labeled me as emo girl. Maybe it's because i always all alone and don't really talk much. I still remember during my break time, after i had my breakfast etc, i would return back to class and would quietly sit down on my seat and lay my head on the table. Got a guy classmate said this when he saw me "Layleng, don't emo leh!" Lol. Not really emo, it's just that i was quiet and don't wanna talk so much, i wanted to be alone.

In my poly days, i was about the same as when i was in secondary school. But maybe a bit different, at least i would joke around sometimes. But, was still very quiet. And of course, don't have a lot of friends, but am glad i met some awesome friends. During attachment, i was like the most quiet girl out of the 7students. Lol. People asked me why i was so quiet, i just smiled at them. I don't know why either.

And when i started to work officially for the first time, though it was only a mere 3 weeks, colleagues (or at least the people around me) didn't use the word 'quiet' to describe me :) Even though sometimes i was quiet and would rather be alone.. 'Humorous, Cheerful' are some of the words they used to describe me. But, deep inside, i'm not really that cheerful, ya know. I can't be so cheerful when things seem to be going against me all the time.


I just.. lost faith in everything already. I lost faith in relationship during last year. Now, i lost faith in.. that my condition would be controlled. I'm so tired already. Hanging on.. has never felt so tiring before. Want to cry, but no shoulder to lean on. Want to force myself to smile, but it's so.. hard. What can i do.


I've been defeated again, by you.
If you do not know what exactly happened, hereby i shall announced that my face officially flared without me irritating it. So, it's what they said 'stop your medication and it shall come back twice as worse than previously'. :)






If you were to see me now, my face is :| no smiles, no nothing. Haha. And ohya, deleted a blog, because apparently someone doesn't go there at all, so no point keeping it and the purpose of having the blog in the first place.. was no longer there. Everything changed, you changed, i changed too.