How do you feel, when your heart feels so dead.

How do you feel, when you no longer can feel happy again.

How do you feel, when you can no longer laugh heartily.

How how how? ):

I can tell you, i feel so damn sad right now.
I'm so sad, yet i kept pretending to laugh and smile, as if nothing has happened.
I hate it, i hate myself.Why do i have to pretend? What exactly am i trying to do?Why.. do i have to suppress my emotions >.< It hurts... a lot.

Been recalling memories for the past 2 days. Trying to 'gain' back the happiness that i once had. But i can no longer feel it anymore, for my heart is dead.What exactly is love? Do i even love anyone now?I don't know.I don't even know who i am anymore.But even so, even though i don't know who i am, i can say that i hate myself a lot.I hate the way i am, the way i behave, everything. Yeah.

Am i going crazy? Maybe.How long am i going to go through all this shit over and over again.My heart is so dead !!!

Tell me, someone tell me, why i can't have a happy ending.Why does my love stories always turned from a happy one to a sad one.

Tell me...